And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
