Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
