I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
