Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
