Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
