did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
