I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
