DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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