Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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