Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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