Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
