I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
