you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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