People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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