Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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