We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she smelled like a LAN party
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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