When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
