U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
