Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
