new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
