i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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