He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
