Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
