In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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