SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
