I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
