Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize