i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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