I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
