I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
pop tarts are not kleenex
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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