So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
