omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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