i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You may now shotgun with the bride
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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