Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
