i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
