Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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