Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
