He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
