I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
