i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
