My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
