he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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