Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
