I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
