Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
