he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
sex in a hospital.. check
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
