return my video game
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
