i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
