I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
