eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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