Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
